At the Vigil Mass: A Bit of Ecstasy in Beauty

Yesterday evening, at the Vigil Mass, I sat alone in the middle of the next to last pew; my good wife was away taking care of her sister who was recovering from surgery. I wanted to avoid blocking anyone from getting in, and I wanted not to interfere with the normal sitting routine since I usually go to the Sunday morning Mass: you know – new people come in early to a heavily attended Mass, sit in your usual spot, and then you sit in someone else’s usual spot, and then they have to sit in someone else’s usual spot, and on and on the disruption goes. Well, I was not going to do that. Not today.

As I sat there by myself, I opened a dialogue with God (or He opened one with me). All of a sudden, I found it easy to be encouraged by the truth that everything was good and beautiful and a reflection of the immense kindness, forbearance, and love of our great Creator.

The beauty of people, art, candleabra and candle flames, a smile, glimmering sunlight, the peace of quiet, an enthusiastic and faithful and dutiful priest, meditation and contemplation, the Real Christ intentionally present out of total love for us. Everything was gift at that moment – a sheer contradiction to all that is evil in our day. And then I considered the beauty of nature outside the parish church – how beautiful and how directly docile it is for us compared to how bad it could be.

It was all a gift to allow me to praise God from the heart – to love Him with all of my heart, soul and mind.

And, coincidentally, that’s what the Gospel readings were about: “

“You shall love the Lord, your God,
with all your heart,
with all your soul,
and with all your mind.
This is the greatest and the first commandment.”

I give you thanks, dear Lord, for encouraging me and moving me to praise and love. May I always love you fully. Amen.

Holy Spirit – Special Intimacy

This morning at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, three things happened which were extraordinary [and I don’t mean the form of the Mass 🙂 ].

Firstly, I could see Jesus processing in and blessing us with His wounded hands behind the Altar. Secondly, I could see Who I believe to be the image of the Holy Spirit during the Creed. Thirdly, after the dismissal and during our Hail Mary prayer for vocations, I could see the Blessed Virgin Mary. I will cover the second two here.

Holy Spirit, Lord and Giver of Life: We state our belief in the Holy Spirit this way when we recite the Creed each Sunday:

“I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life, who proceeds from the Father and the Son, who with the Father and the Son is adored and glorified, who has spoken through the prophets.”

When I was reciting this part, I remembered many locutions in the past to “romance me.” This essentially means to “love me” in a special way which is appropriate to Divinity. I attribute this call to the Holy Spirit. And I envisioned our Personal God to be youthful, fresh, full of life, full of virtue, attractive and desirous of intimacy to the point that I felt like I was being refreshed in that moment, nearly to the point of sort of floating away – feeling very light and happy. But, I had full control and did not drift away. Thank you dear Lord for this blessing of grace.

Holy Mother of God, Mary Most Holy: After Sunday Mass, we always make two prayers – one to St. Michael the Archangel (to protect us from Satan – I often see from the vantage point of thrusting demons through a hatch into Hell using a very long battle lance – very effective, and they cannot come back in) and also to the Blessed Virgin Mary, Most Holy Mother of God for more vocations. I saw her, too. And, praying to her, she said “touch me,” (something I am averse to doing), but when I did, my heart leapt or skipped a beat, and I felt that something like the weight of sin had been taken from me. I think that because when I do begin to have sinful thoughts, my heart hurts like pressure is being forced on it. But, when I reached out to touch Mother Mary, my heart felt relieved or healed. I had been recollecting prior sinful thoughts and asking God for forgiveness, to which he replied as in a locution, “I have forgiven you.” But, Mother Mary gave me some sort of grace today which I do not recall receiving before.

This all gave me great hope in the Kingdom of God, Who is Love, Who Mercifully Heals.

How is this Possible? Now, one might ask, “How is it that one person in 2.5 billion Christians sees these Persons and Saint? Does that mean he is the only one? Or, how can these Persons and this Saint be present to one and many simultaneously?” Well, we can answer that question by the example of the Prophets. All Christians are called to be like prophets, but do we acknowledge, listen and respond to the Lord? No! Most do not! Most do not love the Lord our God as He asks. We stray, we get distracted, we don’t pray (we don’t speak to God), we put other gods before our Loving God. Who would make friends with you if you don’t think one important enough to talk to or listen to? I also fail in these ways, but I have taken the grace to repent when I do, and I return to be healed and love again and am always forgiven. Also, why do we try to limit the capability of God as if He were only a limited creation? When we do, we show our ignorance and lack of attention to knowing God.

Remember today’s Gospel message. We are all called to be like fertile soil in light of the “seed” which the Lord plants in us, that it might take root and bear much fruit. How do we become that fertile soil? Think about that. Are you the soil on the path, the rocky ground, or amongst thorns? Or are you the rich, fertile soil like that in a flood plain? What floods and is absorbed into your soil? Is it the pollution of sloth, violence, pornography, hatred, calumnious intention, financial wealth, career advancement, or personal power? Or is it the clean life-giving, cool Water of the Lord?

Our Sacrifice with Christ’s? What is It?

What is your sacrifice, your oblation which is joined to that of Jesus Christ in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass?  Do you offer it?

I was inspired to consider this question.  I have been wandering whether I am getting through to the Lord at Mass.  Am I being heard?  What should I be offering?  What can I possibly offer here which is not already annihilated by Christ’s own inexhaustible Gift for the eternal salvation of our souls?

It came to me.

It’s not just our praise.  Men brown-nose their bosses with praise daily.  No, it is not simply praise since praise by itself is empty…empty of what it is the Lord is seeking.

What is the Lord our God seeking?  He is seeking…

FAITH. He wants us to walk in to Him truly believing in our hearts that He is real and really loves us.

HOPE. He wants us to walk in to Him truly hoping in our hearts that He has a plan for us, a plan so wonderful and fulfilling that we would nearly die of joy if we knew it in its fullness now.

LOVE.  He wants us to walk in to Him truly desiring to obey every one of His words, whether through Scripture or through Tradition, knowing that to obey Him is to do everything which is exactly right for each and every one of us.  You know, the true obedience of love takes faith and hope.

SURSUM CORDA…ET GRATES.  So, when we are at Mass, and you hear “Sursum corda!” or “Lift up your hearts!” then exclaim in your hearts, “I believe you!  I hope in your plan!  I desire to do whatever you say, Father, Son and Holy Spirit!  Speak to me!  Guide me!  Be with me!  Heal me! Refresh me in my suffering for you!  I am yours and You are Mine!  I am nothing without you. Thank you for what you are doing for me!”

Those who bring thanksgiving as their sacrifice honor me;
 to those who go the right way
I will show the salvation of God. [Psalm 50:23]

SMILE. Because we are so tempted and injured and so stressed by the world, this is our sacrifice, a sacrifice of the spirit which enjoys in us and brings our bodies along with it in a great big smile. 🙂

This is all summed up in St. Paul’s exhortation,

I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect. [Romans 12:1-2]

And after our sacrifice to and with the Lord, in the Mass, a sacrifice of joy!

…This day is holy to our Lord; and do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. [Nehemiah 8:10]

I love You my Lord.  Why would I not? Thank You forever and ever. Amen.

 

 

Vision of A Lady Dressed for Matrimony and Understanding Metaphorical Marriage With God

At the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass yesterday morning, as the distribution of the Eucharist began during Holy Communion, I looked up, and in my mind’s eye, I saw the beautiful image of a lady dressed for her wedding. She was standing in the sanctuary to the right of the priest, our parochial vicar, who was facing the nave and distributing the Blessed Sacrament. She was also facing the people who went up to receive Jesus.

She was fully covered in a white matrimonial gown which appeared to be made of linen with pearls woven in (there were shiny glimmers here and there). There was no silk, no saffron veil, but all like a finely woven embroidery of linen covering her hair and face and draping over her gown. She was just standing there, her arms covered under her gown and veil.

This inspired in me the thought of a real Wedding Banquet, and the holiness of what we should be thinking when we approach the sanctuary during Holy Communion. The image was brief, but I saw her. Who was she? Was she a vision of Holy Mother Church?

Hear how St. Isaiah the Prophet writes of God’s love for the Church as His bride:

For your Maker is your husband,
    the Lord of hosts is his name;
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,
    the God of the whole earth he is called.
For the Lord has called you
    like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit,
like the wife of a man’s youth when she is cast off,
    says your God.
For a brief moment I abandoned you,
    but with great compassion I will gather you.
In overflowing wrath for a moment
    I hid my face from you,
but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,
    says the Lord, your Redeemer. [Isaiah 54:5-8]

Hear how St. John the Baptist speaks of the Lord as Bridegroom to His Church:

He who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice. For this reason my joy has been fulfilled. [John 3:29]

Who is the bride here? We assume it is the Church after the imagery of Isaiah (and other prophets), and that the bride is not necessarily happy since it is only the friend of the bridegroom who is said to be happy. Hear also how St. Paul joins in to teach the reality:

For no one ever hates his own body, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, because we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church. [Ephesians 5:29-32]

And with St. Paul, we see atheists Lord’s role as Bridegroom confirmed and understand more fully the Lord’s intentions to care for the Church as His Bride.

I think the image, then, was a reminder to us about the Lord’s intentions for the Faithful – that He give us a most Holy spouse in Himself, and that we be treated such that we may become healthy enough to respond to His call to be like a holy spouse in that divine metaphorical matrimony and marriage, the actual application and eternal living out of which remains veiled in mystical secrecy…and misunderstandings as a result.

Now, I think that many people, including devout religious, misunderstand this mystery of the metaphorical bridal imagery. I have misunderstood it, too. I’m sure that there are people who go after the religious, celibate life seeking something like a human marriage with the human person of Jesus Christ – an imagined, “perfect husband” who is found and intimately experienced in the heart and mind. However, those who follow this line of thought may easily be led into a fallacy, the fallacy of a real human marriage. This is not a human marriage – it cannot be; for how can a temporary institution be applied to an eternal state of being where that human institution, and elements of it, is no longer in effect? For as Jesus the Lord Himself revealed regarding the human institution,

…You are wrong, because you know neither the scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. [Matthew 22:29-30]

How do the angels of God live, and can their lives be spousal as we understand the word? We assume that we know about angels, but we do not know in fact since we are not angels and do not experience the life of angels. So, let us clearly state now that our relationship with God is metaphorically marital and monogamous, not really marital and monogamous in the sense of a real human marriage, and is somewhat like the little-understood lives and relationships of angels with God.

We can continue to build our understanding of metaphorical marriage with the Lord, and entrench our understanding of a requirement for metaphorical monogamy with God in the command which comes from God Himself,

…you shall have no other gods before me. [Exodus 20:3]

Also, as the Lord commissioned Moses to teach to the Chosen People, Israel, a teaching which the Lord Jesus validated, we can understand a commanded metaphorical monogamy, not only between our current generation and the Lord, but also between our future generations and the Lord since we are to teach our children to also love God in a metaphorically monogamous way:

Hear, O Israel: The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart. Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise. Bind them as a sign on your hand, fix them as an emblem on your forehead,  and write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. [Deuteronomy 6:4-9]

And, in summary, the vision of a lady dressed for Matrimony reminds us of the Lord’s faithful intentions for the Bride, the Church, in a metaphorical marriage with Him, and also the expectation that the Bride is or will become prepared to fulfill that honor, with a mind set for monogamy and, with that monogamy, the loving and dedicated care of the Lord.

Lenten Appeals – Is Jesus Embarrassed?

Today, during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, our pastor reminded us about the Bishop’s Lenten Appeal, an annual exercise where pastors are required to direct their parishioners, while sitting in the pews, to actually fill out annual financial pledges for the Diocese.  He briefly reminded us about the pledge cards (from last Sunday) before he began the homily this morning.  I really appreciated the brevity, as it is our desire at that time to learn a lesson of God, not to be lectured on the needs of our very, very wealthy Diocesan church.

Interestingly, during he Liturgy of the Eucharist, with my eyes closed, I saw in my mind our resurrected Jesus Christ dressed in a common, dirty and dingy one-piece ankle-length tunic, as if atoning, standing behind the priest and deacon at the altar, inaudibly exhorting,

Come, all you who are thirsty and hungry! Come, take, eat, drink for free!  I give it freely! 

The Lord our God exhorts us that He does not charge us for His love.  He does not require from us a tithe to Him for what He offers.  It is offered freely, out of true love.  And, He gives us a symbol of personal atonement and embarrassment, on our behalf.

I sensed His embarrassment about the calls for funds, calls which seem to constantly emanate from the ambo in the sanctuaries of our parish chapels during these times.  The message is, “If you pay us, we will serve you and ourselves, too.”  This is not the Lord’s message, though, and He wants to make that clear.  For-pay permanent deacons, heed this warning.

I sensed His atonement for the sins of the Church Hierarchy.  The Lord is embarrassed at the many scandals which have been revealed – scandals at the hands of cardinals, bishops, priests, deacons, religious, teachers and parents – and instead of the Hierarchy contritely atoning for sins, it continues – administering daily routines – focusing on the money that can be gathered in from the hands of the Faithful during this season of alms-giving, fasting and prayer.  But, who is atoning besides Jesus?  That is, who is making amends, in their hearts, for the wrongs that have been perpetrating on the Church by its own Hierarchy?

Perhaps, during Lent, the Church Hierarchy should be atoning with Jesus Christ and alms-giving, not project-promoting and wealth-begging.  Certainly, projects are necessary, but, perhaps, now during Lent is a very good time for atoning.  For as it is written and as it was read at the Ash Wednesday Liturgy of the Word,

Between the porch and the altar
let the priests, the ministers of the LORD, weep,
And say, “Spare, O LORD, your people,
and make not your heritage a reproach,
with the nations ruling over them!
Why should they say among the peoples,
‘Where is their God?'” [Joel 2:17]

The Lord Jesus makes Himself present and known, “I Am here!  Know Me. I Am not leaving you.”  But, the Church Hierarchy sometimes makes Him seem less present, less real, more like Money, less like Love, less like He Who Atones and Redeems.  If priests participate in the Priesthood of Jesus Christ, then priests should be moved, internally, to offer more outward signs of atonement for the sins of the Hierarchy.

At the end of the Mass for the final blessing, our Lord Jesus stood behind the altar, in front of His Tabernacle, and, with eyes closed,  I only saw His blessing.

 

Prayer of Intimacy With the Lord

Lord, yes, I want to love You as you desire me to love You. Prepare my heart for You. I trust You. I do will it. Make me Holy for You. For, You desire that I be holy as You are holy. Make me Holy for You. I do will it. And then love me, that I may overflow with an abundance of true love for You. Feed me with Your Essence in the Eucharist that I may be sustained in loving You and my neighbors, but You most of all, that I may love You chastely as You deserve. Come in to my soul and give Me Your Life, that we may be one together, that every breath I take is fed by the Breath of Your Spirit, that every beat of my heart beats with Your Divine Heart, that I may bear the Fruit of our chaste Union. Amen.

Cleansed by Spirit and Fire – Make Me Holy, Lord!

Early this morning, I was contemplating the chaste holiness of God.  It was a delightful experience – similar to what it might be like swimming in crystal clear springs of Total Goodness and Truth.  But, then my thoughts began to corrupt the experience, and it left me.  I was made acutely aware of my state of being compared to the most holy God.  I was acutely aware of the Lord’s expectation, and my and your duty:

My prayer from this morning was this:

Lord, cleanse my heart with the breath of Your Spirit and with Your Thoughts, that I may become one with You, purified through You, in You and with You. Without You, I am broken and coarse. But, You can make me whole and refined if You will it. This is what I desire, because I love You. Amen

Then, today, at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, the readings and homily were exactly in line with my early morning contemplations.  This is what happens when the Spirit is moving us.  We are being prepared even before we see and hear; we may even think about what the Pope will speak about even before he speaks at an audience, for example.

At Mass, we were at the point where the Priest begins the Eucharistic Prayer, and I began to imagine the Lord working in me.  The Eucharistic Prayer begins like this:

Priest: “Lift up your hearts.”

People: “We lift them up to the Lord.”

Priest: “Let us give thanks to the Lord our God.”

People: “It is right and just.”

I prayerfully lifted up my heart, my very soul, in sorrow for my past errors and present unholiness and brokenness compared to God.  For He commanded this to be said to the congregation of the people Israel,

“You shall be holy, for I the Lord your God am holy.” [Leviticus 19:2]

The holiness of the Lord is so great, that is, He is so chaste and true and unerring in thought that even the Seraphs, hiding their faces, exclaim:

“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts…”! [Isaiah 6:3a]

He is not one degree of holiness, but He is root of holiness.  We are called to be holy as He is holy, but the gap between our meager attempts at holiness and His actual holiness is huge.  We cannot scale the gap without His divine help, and we must certainly try.

But then I saw in my mind,

Jesus breathing His Spirit on my heart, and sparks flying from it like impurities being burned in a fire.  

After receiving Jesus in Holy Communion, I heard,

You have received mercy today.

As our homilist suggested today, it was like being baptized again, for as the words of John the Baptist are written about the Lord in Sacred Scripture,

“He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.” [Luke 3:16b]

I felt the Lord was helping me today – saying that He can, does and will help me, but He is the one who must do it in me.  And, I must protect what He gives me.

One of the things I struggle with, today, is defining my life of service.  I am married, and I do serve my wife as best I can, and improving on that as I go, there is a fuller service to which God calls me.  I hear,

Serve!

Serve God, but where and when and how?  And I hear at times of true prayer,

Marry me.

Marry God, but where and when and how?  I understand, but not fully since this marriage must be supernatural and in the spiritual realm.  There is a future meaning to it now: only a betrothal – a request.  I want to doubt it because my understanding is human, but then I believe it because I know that I do not understand the divine; how can I understand by myself?

But, this marriage cannot happen if I am not holy as the Lord my God is holy.  I invite Him to make me holy.

I adjure you, Lord. 

Make me holy.  

Make me holy.  

Make me holy.  

I desire this.

Have mercy; make me holy! 

Amen.

 

 

 

 

“My Mother”

In a waking dream this morning, after I had been awake and praying Morning Prayer at 3 AM (which I never do, but was moved to do so this morning), I heard the words, “My mother.” At those words, I saw a cameo of of a delightful, timid, humble and sweet face of a lady, wearing a white robe, who must be our Mother Mary – the Mother of Jesus. This was a great comfort for me (for several important reasons), and I bring this to you to be a great comfort to you as well.

The picture I have posted does not do her justice, but it is close. To see such a face and gesture, the virtue and good intentions which it proposes, is a great gift of kindness, and I thank the Lord for his great mercy.

A tribute to Jesus the Lord:

“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

At Mass – His Sacred Heart Exposed for All

Two weeks ago at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, we were well into the Liturgy of the Eucharist and, after we welcomed the Most High Lord in the Sanctus and just before the Words of Consecration, I imagined the Glorified Lord, Jesus Christ standing below me dressed in light-colored liturgical attire with his bright, glowing Heart exposed.

When the priest uttered the Words of Consecration, “Take this, all of you, and eat of it,” Jesus touched His Sacred Heart and rays of light immediately poured forth from It – His very Light, Life and Love rushing forth to feed us.  This was a great gift.  It helped me to understand how He operates and why, when He was Resurrected, His Wounds remained.

I have waited a long time to post this because I was trying to find a picture which appropriately captured how He looked – the light clothing especially.  As of this morning, I have that picture below.  This likeness is it (very close), and I had never seen it before today, except in my imagining of Him during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

Now, there was also a complication which I could not figure out.  When I saw the Lord in my mind, I was above Him and to His right, and looking down at him over His shoulder.  So, look at the little Cherub in the upper left of the picture.  That could be how I was viewing Him – through the “eyes” of a Cherub there witnessing Him.  This would be fitting since Angels are the special communication interface between the human and the divine.

Teaching:  When we go to receive the Lord in the Eucharist, we should meditate on Who we are receiving and His Gifts to us in that receiving. At the Words of Consecration, see His Sacred Heart opening and the bright, penetrating rays of His Divine Power emanating therefrom. Think of His meekness, humility, patience, kindness, gentleness, compassion, healing, hope. Think, “Fiat” and receive Him.

May God bless you in this reading, now and forever.  Amen.

The Meek and Humble Can Do God’s Will

In my prayers at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass this morning, I strained under my obvious weaknesses to ask the Lord to let me know His will that I might obey it.  I asked “What is your will” and I heard, “Nothing.”  I have heard this before, but this time, it bothered me.  I asked, “But Lord, how could it ever be possible that I could not do SOMETHING to obey and serve you for want of loving You?”  And then it dawned on me.

I – me – me alone – can do nothing to serve God’s will.  It is the very Life of Christ in me who makes it possible for us to do God’s will.  I thought back to the Lord saying,

Very truly, I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood have eternal life, and I will raise them up on the last day; for my flesh is true food and my blood is true drink.  Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood abide in me, and I in them. [Jn 6:53-56]

I can not even begin to live without Christ first living in me, much less abide in Him.  The definition of life, to live, is Christ in me.  To do His will, I must accept Him and abide in Him – in a way, see what He does and then do what I see Him doing.  I must become even as St. Paul became, writing to the Galatians:

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.  [Gal 2:20]

And so God reorients me to what I have not been fully seeking and teaches me a lesson in humility, that to do the will of God, I must do it through and in and with the life of Christ who must live in me.  I must be intimately bound to Him and live because He lives in me.  For he says here, again:

I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. [Jn 15:15]

This is what came to me when I reached out to God and complained this morning that I did not know what His will was for me to do.  I was being like an ignorant (or lazy) child because we all have the wherewithal to learn and know His will and how to obtain the ability to live it more fully.  But, we often walk away from Him for a while, don’t we?

It gives me comfort knowing that the Lord Jesus Christ is a good man whose exemplified ambition was in loving and healing and guiding others, not in working and making lots of money and in creating luxurious conditions for Himself.  He taught us to seek after the more important things in life.  And He gives us this comforting exhortation and promise:

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. [Mt 11:29]

Who doesn’t want rest for their souls?  Who doesn’t like to be around someone who is meek and humble?  It is not too hard to become more like the Lord.  We can do it!

Virginal Love of God

On 2 December, as I prayed my Rosary while walking, I was enamored by the contemplation of Divine affections, a beautiful presence who whispered my prayers back to me as I prayed them, our lips touching and our breath exchanging, and holy, youthful smiles. I was blessed.

Statue of St. Hildegard of Bingen Eibingen Abbey, Rudesheim, GE

Before I set out to walk and pray, I had listened for the first time to St. Hildegard of Bingen’s song, “O dulcissime amator” (O Lover Sweet) from her “Symphonia virginum” (Symphony of Virgins). St. Hildegard of Bingen lived in the 12th century and is a Doctor of the Church now. I invite you to read the words here: http://www.hildegard-society.org/2017/05/o-dulcissime-amator-symphonia-virginum.html or listen here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lkjODhUgrVs

I also contemplated the virginal love of God and how that might be. It is true that God, who is Love, desires to marry humanity. This is not just through the Incarnation; His desire is to indwell us with Holy Spirit, as we are all expected to be as building blocks of His Body, as holy temples suitable for His holy Presence. But what is the fruit of this glorified marriage, and how can this be?

Now, having gone back and found this draft, I am amazed to see that I have now visited the Shrine of St. Hildegard of Bingen without even remembering that I wrote this

Eibingen Abbey

inspiration, and without any real plan to visit her shrine.  I and my wife visited her sisters’ abbey (Eibingen Abbey) and also her relics in Rudesheim am Rhein, Germany on 23 December (just a few days ago).

 

It is wonderful to invite God to visit with you and then follow His inspirations and to take in the surprises which come with them.

 

Relics of St. Hildegard of Bingen in her Shrine

 

Hurricane Nate: Psalm of Warning and Calling

This came to me early on the morning of 8 October 2017 when Hurricane Nate was making landfall on Biloxi, Mississippi in the vicinity of the gambling casinos there. Much harm of hurricanes (and other disasters) can be averted through the true loving prayer of God’s chosen ones: they have merit with God because they have chosen to respond to His graces and be obedient to His Word.

A psalm of warning and divine calling.

Looks like Hurricane Nate
has been a friend of most;
A reminder not to boast;
A gentle chastisement;
A worthy appeasement.

Give thanks to God
For those who prayed
Against his strong hand
which He did stay.

Another time will come
For those sins he did forebear,
To turn hearts of sinners
Back to God;
To give to God what is
His fair share.

God does listen
To those who remain close.
He hears your prayer
When obedience you chose.

But go on sinning
If you must.
Rely upon your own strength
When it is not God in whom you trust.

But beware that you are
Mere creature, mere dust.

The wind shall blow!
The waters shall rise!
Your fate will be sealed!
And then in whom will you trust?

You were not obedient.
You did not remain close.
You did not love God
Who you should love the most.

Despair overcomes you;
Hatred thickens.
You blame God for your own choices.
Your anger sickens.

But God will not be outdone
In his strong love for you.
He returns again and again
And he asks, “When you come to…

“When you come to your senses
I will be there.
I will hear your confession;
I will treat you with tender care.

You only need to choose right
To listen and obey Me.
For I will only what is good,
What is right, that you may see.

Come back to Me child
With all of your heart,
and I will bless you.
Never again shall we be apart.”

Amen.

When Spiritual Souls Atrophy

Those who exercise their spiritual soul in prayer to God, in the obedience of worship and the sacramental life, and in right action will be able to understand better the “technology” of the spiritual life.

If we do not exercise the spiritual soul, if we do not faithfully and deliberately open our souls to God and His protecting presence, then our spiritual souls may very well atrophy like unused muscles.  

Our atrophied spiritual soul becomes like a dried wine skin which, when tested, cracks and leaks, being unfit and unable to hold the richness of God’s life-giving presence, and letting in the decay of parasitic, life-killing presence which weakens the soul, making it look more like the parasite which feeds upon it.  [ See Luke 5:33-39 for context ]

• The praying soul is the healthy, healing, living soul.  God is allowed in to give it life and to sustain that life.  Think of wine which continually renews the wine skin which holds it.  The skin becomes like the good, new wine it bears.
• The God-less soul is the sick, rotting, dying soul.  God is prevented from entering in.  Think of a wine skin which is dry and cracked where water, mold and mildew enter to eat the skin, and the skin looks like mold.

The atheists will not understand this until that day when they are on the verge of spiritual decimation, when God intervenes to offer to save what is left before it is too late – an intervention required and allowed when the spiritual soul is too weak, too damaged to help itself.

This is the spiritual soul of the one lost lamb who ran away from the Good Shepherd, but who fell into the crevasse, and after much time without food and with broken legs, could not help itself.  The Good Shepherd did not do this.  No.  The rebellious little lamb ran away. [See John 10 for context]

The fate of the lamb rests in the willingness of the lamb to be saved. 

 May all such lost lambs set aside pride and anger and say, “Yes” to true Love, even if it hurts to be healed.  

SIGN OF TRUE DISCIPLESHIP: GRATITUDE IN MIDST OF SUFFERING

Because Love is radical and not practical, it often involves suffering. This is why Jesus rebuked St. Peter when he suggested that Jesus should not suffer and die for us: “Get behind me Satan!” (Matt 16:23) Not that Peter is Satan, but that Peter was thinking in line with the desires of Satan and God-less men – that we not be saved by the Lord’s Sacrifice. Yes, in the divine life, love and sacrifice, and therefore suffering, often go together.

If we look down upon suffering for or with Christ for His sake and ours, then we are not worthy of Christ. For the Lord Himself clearly said: “Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me, cannot be my disciple.”(Lk 14:27)

If we do not understand this, then we are like strangers who follow a strange “Prosperity Gospel” which selfishly seeks pleasure and avoids suffering (of true love) which diminishes that pleasure, and we may very well be met with this rebuke from the Lord Himself one day:  

“Not every one who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you evildoers.’”(Mk 7:21-23)

There is little excuse for our ignorance. We have all of the resources available to us today in order to know the Lord – that is – to hear and do His will.

Let us ask ourselves: Does love inconvenience us? Do we love grudgingly? What is our habit? Do we choose not to respond to the inspirations to love when it requires some sacrifice? Do we calculate the cost? If God is Love, and if love is selfless, are we compatible with Him?

Well, we can not be God in our finitude. But we most certainly can be grateful to Him for His own sake. Our response to Him can be gratitude, even in the midst of suffering – a gratitude worthy of His infinite love – a gratitude which does not complain, but sees the riches of mercy He bestows upon us in all of the goods around us, and then responds with giving back in some way.  

If we overflow with God’s love, then let us be instruments of love for those around us. If we are in truth branches on the life-giving Vine, let us bear fruit that is sweet and which lasts.

Yes, let us seek to know the Lord, His thoughts, and not our own thoughts, that we may know true Love, be thankful for true Love, and respond with love out of the joy of our gratitude, but not out of the misery of our selfish ingratitude, the ingratitude of the thoughts of men who do not know God.

Healing Epiphany: Light From Light

Bright, sun-lit road in the corn field.

I had a dream this morning that I was riding a bicycle along a level road with sun-lit cornfields on my left and my right.  The sun was shining brightly in the clouds directly ahead of me.

 

And then, from the sun came light which began to form the shape of a brilliant, Light-Man in the clouds to the right of the sun and standing on the horizon, and that Light-Man was brighter than the sun itself.

In my heart, I knew that this was God.  Like the light which comes from the sun, so the Son is begotten of the Father, Light from Light, True God from True God, consubstantial with the Father – being of the same one substance with the Father, Who is all Merciful and Loving.  This was Jesus who affirmed:

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” [John 8:12, NAB Holy Bible]

My heart began to swell with hope, and I began to feel giddy, praying to God with sentiments of love and desire.  I said, “Take me!  Take me now!”  for I had been feeling tired and ready for a life of peace and happiness with God, if that be His Will for me.

Surging, Healing Light of God

And then, knowing my weary condition, I asked Him to heal me, and at that moment, the Light-Man, like Christ Himself, surged in brightness before my face, engulfing me in His Light, and I felt His Power piercing deep into my soul, and my head was jolted as if something came out of me, and I began to feel joy, real Joy!

 

I have been in a very good mood this morning – filled with hope.  I told my wife about this, and she stated, choking back a sob, that she has no intentions of me going anywhere anytime soon!

But, this must be sort of what Saints Peter, John and James experienced at the Transfiguration.  St. Peter was obviously giddy, wanting Jesus, Moses and Elijah to stay – He didn’t want to leave either!   Here is the account from St. Peter’s account of the Gospel (as penned by St. Mark):

The Transfiguration of Jesus [Mark 9:2-8, NAB Holy Bible]

After six days Jesus took Peter, James, and John and led them up a high mountain apart by themselves.  And he was transfigured before them, and his clothes became dazzling white, such as no fuller on earth could bleach them.

Then Elijah appeared to them along with Moses, and they were conversing with Jesus.

Then Peter said to Jesus in reply, “Rabbi, it is good that we are here! Let us make three tents: one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.”

He hardly knew what to say, they were so terrified.

Then a cloud came, casting a shadow over them; then from the cloud came a voice, “This is my beloved Son. Listen to him.”

On the Apparent Loss of Friendship

This came to mind this morning as I ponder the apparent loss of a friend.  The Book of Proverbs has similar expressions:

When one has a friend, one’s friend also has a friend.

When one rejects a friend, one’s friend remains.

The one who keeps friendship secures help in hard times.  

The one who rejects friendship loses peace.

A call to friendship is a call to know love. 

A denial of friendship is a loss of a steady guide.

With friendship, we are aloft and secure. 

Without friendship, every mountain is a slippery slope.

A true friend proves friendship without trying. 

A false friend feigns friendship even while trying.

True friendship has its Source in one’s soul. 

Friendship is easily extinguished when the Source is no longer welcome.

But when one has a friend, even though one rejects that friend,

one’s friend still has a Friend, Who Is the Source of all true friendships.

Even though the Light of friendship is extinguished in the heart of one former friend, 

if that Light remains in the other friend’s heart, all is not lost.

The flame of friendship burns hot in a supple heart,

but who can light a flame in a stony heart?

Blessed is the Fruit of Your Womb, Jesus.

When praying the Rosary the other day, I was searching for Jesus in my heart in order to confirm my faith.  I began to consider His Presence at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass and the privilege we have to approach Him in the Blessed Sacrament of the Altar.  And then I prayed, “Blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus,” and it occurred to me, in that instant, the Gift of Himself in the Blessed Sacrament is the gift of a meek, humble, ever-new, ever-living God Who is the well-spring of all life and of all that will ever live.  

He is our Life, and in the Blessed Sacrament, we receive that Life which He has offered, and then we give back that Life in that sacrifice with our own lives since it is His sacrificial Life which we now have in our beings, and His Life urges us on to love Him and others.  We are strengthened in order to give what we have been given, and to live that living which is ever-new and ever-lasting, and when beyond time, ever-happy in the joy of God’s immediate Presence.

God Makes Himself Small for Us

God makes us small relative to the universe, and then He makes Himself small, too, for us.

He makes Himself small in His infant birth to Mary.

He makes Himself poor in order to commune with the poor.

He is greater than the universe, yet He desires to be smaller than or as small as those persons to which He gives existence.  Why?

Who He Is absolutely demands that He conform to being small since Love draws the Lover to the Beloved that the two may experience communion on a common level, but a level which is even more intimate and deeper than even the cutest smallness.  This descent into intimacy must be infinite and fulfilling at every level of intimacy, and it is a constant descent…a constant “falling in Love.”

Jesus said, “Know Me”

At the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass today, after receiving Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, I heard “Know Me,” and then I saw the Wound in His hand open.  Light shown through, and it looked warm and incandescent.  When I looked more at the Wound, the Light seemed to come from an infinite depth, and the Wound seemed to broaden.  In Jesus, can you imagine the mystery of infinity inside of a seemingly finite body?  It was infinite Peace in Him.  “Know Me!”  It was infinite Compassion.  He loves us.  He is Love.

DREAM: LESSON TO STOP TRYING TO STEER THE HOLY SPIRIT

I dreamed last night that I was flying a kite, a kite which also was hoisting me along in the air from place to place.

The kite is changing into a dove!

I was trying to steer the kite when I noticed that it was not a kite at all.  It was a beautiful white dove!

The Dove of the Holy Spirit

Was I steering it or was it steering me around power lines and trees?  As we went along, it got lower and lower to the ground and the wind seemed to slow.  Eventually the dove rested on the ground and immediately became a beautiful young human being with golden hair with a white robe and reclining on the ground and smiling at me. And that was my dream.

Upon reflection this morning, I thought of the Holy Spirit.  While I know that the Holy Spirit is literally scripturally masculine, I could not tell whether the Person was male or female except that I can easily associate fairness and beauty with feminine traits.  I suppose that when we see God, the glorified Jesus face to face, we might see both masculine and feminine traits since the Body of Christ consists of all of the Faithful, both male and female, and we all find our wholeness in Jesus Christ.

The dream is important and relevant to my recent tribulations in determining my vocation in life.  Am I following God’s Will or am I subverting His Will through my own efforts to control the direction I am going?  But, truly, I feel directionless now – without passion for anything in particular other than stabilizing my life so that I can spend more time with God, e.g., going to daily Mass, and so on. But I am like a person on the wind which blows where it wills, and I do not know the direction in which it goes, and am I comfortable with such a disposition? 

It is like the Lord’s teaching:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.   That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.   Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born anew.’   The wind blows where it wills, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know whence it comes or whither it goes; so it is with every one who is born of the Spirit.” [Gospel of John 3:5-8, RSVCE]

“…so it is with every one who is born of the Spirit”

That last phrase caught my attention.  I am born of the Spirit in Baptism and my direction in life needs to be aligned with that of the Spirit whose direction it is not mine to grasp by my own will.  I need less me and more Him in my soul.  If I can just hang on in trust and let the Spirit carry me instead of me trying to steer the Spirit, all will be okay, will it not?

Let us listen to a great saint Doctor of the Church on this subject:

“Therefore must the soul be stripped of all things created, and of its own actions and abilities — namely, of its understanding, perception and feelings — so, that when all that is unlike God and unconformed to him is cast out, the soul may receive the likeness of God; and nothing will then remain in it that is not the will of God and it will thus be transformed in God.  Wherefore, although it is true that, as we have said, God is ever in the soul, giving it, its natural being, yet he does not always communicate supernatural being to it.  For this is communicated only by love and grace, which not all souls possess; and all those that possess it have it not in the same degree; for some have attained more degrees of love and others fewer .  Wherefore God communicates himself most to that soul who has progressed farthest in love; namely, that has its will in closest conformity with the will of God.  And the soul that has attained complete conformity and likeness of will is totally united and transformed in God supernaturally.”  [St. John of the Cross, Ascent of Mount Carmel, book 2, chapter 5, from the Navarre Bible Commentaries on John 3:3-8]

St. John of the Cross in contemplation of God.

And so I need to humble myself – stop trying to steer God and let God steer me instead.  This requires me to open my heart and say “yes” more to the missions He sends my way, right?  And what are the missions?  You see?  I doubt because I am not sure what are the missions. Lord, open my heart and my mind to be receptive to your love and grace whenever and wherever you will that I may do your will and be joined to You and You to me in that close bond which is meant to be like a marriage according to your own design.  Help me to hear your voice and to follow You wherever you lead me.  Amen.

Childhood Awaits Us in Heaven

Children at the Feet of Mother Mary

A Trance about Heaven

In the Fall of 2008, I had a trance while sitting at table before the Crucifix in my dining room where I found myself in another place in Springtime playing joyfully with many other children, all of us around the age of 11 or 12.  I was holding hands with a girl who had blue eyes and red hair who was pulling me toward the other children, and my heart and theirs were full of ecstatic joy, a joy which was without blemish or worry, one which was based on complete faith.  We were all smiling and laughing ecstatically  – so very happy – it did not matter why – we just were.

Happy, happy, happy!

I think this was Heaven, because it was a feeling which does not seem possible here, except for slight glimpses during early childhood perhaps.  But, it was of God because the Source of this joy was infinite and we felt it to its fullest potential, such that there was no worry or concern, but only love truly in our hearts for each other, such that we desired nothing more, because nothing more could possibly be greater than what we have.

And our Mother Mary is there, and I have imagined her in my prayers before as a loving Mother watching over us, her children, as we play games at her feet, and she smiles and laughs with us, encouraging us with her Motherly kindness.  How can this not be Heaven?

Desire To be Born of Mary

Jesus, born of the sinless flesh of Mary

On 24 May 2009, I prayed that I might be born again, physically, through our Blessed Mother and be her child completely with a body from her body, free of original sin and stain of personal sin.  In this way, I would be like unto Jesus – compatible with Him in truth and pleasing to the Father and lovingly attached to my Mother as her child, and humble and faithful and charitable and pure.  [Not that I wanted equality with Jesus – no, but that I would be a true child free of sin and all that displeases the Lord our God, and follow my new Parents unreservedly and with complete trust.]

Sacred Scripture shows how the Lord favors little children.  Here are several verses which came to mind:

“Jesus said, ‘Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.'” [Matthew, 19:13-14, RSVCE Holy Bible]

“‘Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter into it.’  And he took them [little children] in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands upon them.” [Mark 10:13-16, RSVCE Holy Bible]

“At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, ‘Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’  And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them, and said, ‘Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Whoever humbles himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'” [Matthew, 18:1-4, RSVCE Holy Bible]

“‘Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.'” [Matthew 18:5-6, RSVCE Holy Bible]

Sacred Scripture also shows how the Lord invites us to be members of his family:

“Jesus answered, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.'” [John 3:5, RSVCE Holy Bible]

“When Jesus saw his mother, and the disciple whom he loved standing near, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, behold your son!’  Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold your mother!’  And from that hour, the disciple took her to his own home.  [John 19:26-27, RSVCE Holy Bible]

“But he said to them, ‘My mother and my brethren are those who hear the word of God and do it.'” [Luke 8:21 with ref. to Psalm 87:5-7,  RSVCE Holy Bible]

“Jesus said to her [Mary Magdalene], ‘Do not hold me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to my brethren and say to them, I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'” [John 20:17, RSVCE Holy Bible]

Kiss the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus

Kiss the Wound of His Most Sacred Heart

If you rely upon the Lord’s great Mercy in His Most Sacred Heart, then desire ardently to heal the Wound of His Heart.  Heal His Sacred Heart through your love and obedience and affectionate response to His merciful Love.  Consider Him often in all that you do, and kiss the Scar of His Sacred Heart, this kiss bringing Him delight and giving you knowledge of His delight in your affection and true gratitude for His Infinite Love for you.  Amen.

Soothe the Wounds of Christ

See these wounds? They come from your sin. Choose to soothe and heal them by your virtue. Apply holy ointment and caresses by your love.

Christ was resurrected with His Wounds.  Do you understand why?  As long as there is sin in the world, Christ is still wounded by our sins because we are incorporated into His Body, the Body of Christ.  He accepts this joyfully for your sake, but we are hurting Him in our sins, are we not?

Realize that even in the Lord’s masterful joy of taking on your wounds in order to keep your soul alive, He is in pain for you.  He bleeds.  His Sacred Heart bleeds most especially for your mortal sins – your sins of impurity and hatred.  Realize that you are also wounded by your own sins, but you do not see your wounds; you do not see them in Christ’s Body either.  But they are there – festering because you don’t know what you do.

His Precious Blood brings healing, but that is because there is first a wounding and a wounding and a wounding.  “My Heart bleeds for you because I love you.”

At times the pain is too much to bear; it overflows into us.  Do you understand?  Meditate on what St. Paul meant in this statement in his Letter to the Colossians 1:24, which he wrote from his imprisonment:

“Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body…”

Help Jesus the Christ to heal His Wounds.  At least be reconciled in the Sacrament of Penance.  Love returned to the Body heals His Wounds and yours.  Receive also Precious Body and Blood of Christ in the Blessed Sacrament and allow God’s Love through you to be converted into works whereby God’s Love is transmitted to the rest of the Body of Christ like a Divine Medicine for healing.

Be a tender, loving healer to your Lord and His Body.  Do not inflict wounds; choose to soothe and dress His Wounds instead.  He will bless you as He and the rest of the Body are comforted when you do so.

I Love Because I am Loved through Mary the Mother of God

What is it about Mother Mary? I see her in my thoughts and she is loving and kind and fills my heart with calm and confidence. She adorns my heart like a sweet embrace.  She is mine and she is with me. How is this? I know when she is present. How is this? She consoles me. I love her because she is present in me – with me – loving me. How is this?  I believe that she and the Holy Spirit are somehow together – matrimonially one – and they love me.  They love you, too.

Loving Bond: A Vine of Roses

Sweet blossoming of our Blessed Mother Mary

As I walked and meditated on the Glorious Mysteries of the Rosary yesterday, my heart was grateful for the wonderful gifts which God has given to me, especially in the gift of our Blessed Mother Mary.

I envisioned giving her a bouquet of roses in gratitude. She smiled joyfully. When I gave her the bouquet, the roses became like a Vine and wrapped around her hands and mine, and around our wrists.

I was embarrassed because this was too much for me. I had no choice but to stand there and gaze into Mother Mary’s eyes and be loved in her gaze; the Vine of Roses, Jesus our Lord bound us together.