During the Vigil of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass yesterday, we were praying the Our Father, and as I looked up at the large Crucifix hanging above the altar, I began to see Jesus Christ in my mind’s eye. He was standing before me – there was no beard, no long hair. His clothing was more Byzantine looking, with copper and gold and purple colors.
As I looked at Him, I began to remember what Jesus told Philip, who urgently wanted to see the Father:
“Whoever has seen me has seen the Father.” [John, 14:9, NAB Holy Bible]
And I believed that I was seeing the Father as I prayed. At that moment, Jesus cocked his head to His right, and smiled at me, more so with His eyes, and through His eyes, this divine gaze, I knew the great Love that He has for me. This knowing was immediate, and it penetrated me such that it affected my emotions – I felt joy at that moment and wanted to laugh, knowing His loving intentions. (Of course, I was not going to belt out a laugh during Mass, but you get what I mean.). For He Is Love – that is His constant nature – to be Love, an outpouring of all that is necessary and good for us. He then also moved his arms and crossed them over His chest in a symbolic gesture of love. I dare say that this was an eros love, a love which is passionate and urgent and direct.
Before Mass started, I offered up my Mass intentions for my wife who is having some preliminary signs of what I hope is not cancer. I have also placed all of my trust in the Lord, that in His loving care, nothing will happen to her that will not be best for her. And I believe this.
Father, Son and Holy Spirit, I trust in You and I desire to love and appreciate You even more.