Category Archives: God

Hurricane Nate: Psalm of Warning and Calling

This came to me early on the morning of 8 October 2017 when Hurricane Nate was making landfall on Biloxi, Mississippi in the vicinity of the gambling casinos there. Much harm of hurricanes (and other disasters) can be averted through the true loving prayer of God’s chosen ones: they have merit with God because they have chosen to respond to His graces and be obedient to His Word.

A psalm of warning and divine calling.

Looks like Hurricane Nate
has been a friend of most;
A reminder not to boast;
A gentle chastisement;
A worthy appeasement.

Give thanks to God
For those who prayed
Against his strong hand
which He did stay.

Another time will come
For those sins he did forebear,
To turn hearts of sinners
Back to God;
To give to God what is
His fair share.

God does listen
To those who remain close.
He hears your prayer
When obedience you chose.

But go on sinning
If you must.
Rely upon your own strength
When it is not God in whom you trust.

But beware that you are
Mere creature, mere dust.

The wind shall blow!
The waters shall rise!
Your fate will be sealed!
And then in whom will you trust?

You were not obedient.
You did not remain close.
You did not love God
Who you should love the most.

Despair overcomes you;
Hatred thickens.
You blame God for your own choices.
Your anger sickens.

But God will not be outdone
In his strong love for you.
He returns again and again
And he asks, “When you come to…

“When you come to your senses
I will be there.
I will hear your confession;
I will treat you with tender care.

You only need to choose right
To listen and obey Me.
For I will only what is good,
What is right, that you may see.

Come back to Me child
With all of your heart,
and I will bless you.
Never again shall we be apart.”

Amen.

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Lord Jesus, En-Salt Me With Purity in the Eucharist 


Why does Jesus say, “You are the salt of the earth”?

He says that because it is in you, us to be good and to resist, prevent evil just like salt prevents infestation and decay.  We promote societal health through acts of virtue (charity). We become an agent of immortality.

“But if salt loses its taste…it is no longer good for anything.” [St. Matthew, 5:13-16]

If we don’t do good, we add to the problem that Jesus came to fight. We advance societal decay through acts of vice (viciousness). We become an agent of mortality.

This is precisely why we need Jesus in our souls, to keep us “salted” against evil, and “salty” like medicine for each other.   

This brings out the reality of the promise which Jesus made to us, and that many do not accept:

“Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day.” [St. John, 6:54]

For if we are really salted by our Savior, His own spiritual flesh, we can not die. We will live joyfully through Him, with Him, and in Him, in the unity of the Holy Spirit.

En-salt me with purity, Lord Jesus, in the banquet of Your sacrificial Love, the Eucharist.  Thank you for Your Life which is our life, in and through Your Life.

A Hard Lesson in a Nightmare, and then a Locution

Last night, before I went to sleep, I considered whether some sins were, in fact, sins.  I asked this question in my prayers to God.  Of course, these were temptations, but I needed to ask the Lord Who knows everything.  I fell asleep without incident or response.

In my sleep, I had a terrible dream.  I was rebelliously barricaded in a place, and the officials  were coming to remove me from there.  I don’t know what the place was, but I do know that it was a place of rebellion.  One official was an elderly police officer dressed in European garb from the 1800’s, and there were several others.  There was another with me in this place also; I don’t know who – my guardian angel I think – an innocent person.  At some point, I decided to defend myself with a weapon, and I shot the elderly police officer in the chest.  The bullet seemed to flatten on the outside of his garment, but the indication was that I had killed him.

Not long after that, I realized what I had done, and I was ashamed and afraid.  The authorities came again, but this time without offensive fervor, but in peace, and I told them that I was guilty, then the authority smiled and said he would have to take me in, and I turned and he handcuffed me.  

In my mind, I worried about what they would do to me and how I would defend myself.  I realized that, at the time of the shooting, I was insane – I had lost all sense of reasoning.  I drew some comfort from this truth.  But I also realized that I had thrown my entire life away in one moment of stupidity – my WHOLE life.  This was a great burden on my soul to know this, and I became very sad; but, the justice of turning myself in, of realizing my fault and submitting to justice was a balm on my soul.

As the authority was driving me through the country to jail, I saw other horrors along the way, and a world which had become a victim of its own rebellion.  The destructive “machines” which man had created to destroy what had been built, like huge black mechanical crabs and scorpions, began to turn on their creators.  The result seemed merciless, and I was afraid.

When I woke up, I realized why I had the dream, and I prayed and told the Lord that I was sorry for questioning the reality of sin, which offends Him.

Shortly after that, I heard His voice in a way which I had never heard it before.  Some people hear the Lord speak as in a locution – inaudibly.  But this time, I heard His voice in my mind, audibly, and it was a softly-rumbling (like thunder) man’s voice, and He said, “I’m sorry.”  These words were intimate and comforting to hear.  

I can now say with complete confidence that when God’s voice was heard as a rumbling thunder in Sacred Scripture, it is absolutely true in the way it was described.  Have no doubt.

At Mass: The Gaze of the Father Through Jesus – A Promise of Care

During the Vigil of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass yesterday, we were praying the Our Father, and as I looked up at the large Crucifix hanging above the altar, I began to see Jesus Christ in my mind’s eye.  He was standing before me – there was no beard, no long hair.  His clothing was more Byzantine looking, with copper and gold and purple colors.

As I looked at Him, I began to remember what Jesus told Philip, who urgently wanted to see the Father:

“Whoever has seen me has seen the Father.” [John, 14:9, NAB Holy Bible]

And I believed that I was seeing the Father as I prayed.  At that moment, Jesus cocked his head to His right, and smiled at me, more so with His eyes, and through His eyes, this divine gaze, I knew the great Love that He has for me.  This knowing was immediate, and it penetrated me such that it affected my emotions – I felt joy at that moment and wanted to laugh, knowing His loving intentions.  (Of course, I was not going to belt out a laugh during Mass, but you get what I mean.). For He Is Love – that is His constant nature – to be Love, an outpouring of all that is necessary and good for us. He then also moved his arms and crossed them over His chest in a symbolic gesture of love.  I dare say that this was an eros love, a love which is passionate and urgent and direct.

Before Mass started, I offered up my Mass intentions for my wife who is having some preliminary signs of what I hope is not cancer.  I have also placed all of my trust in the Lord, that in His loving care, nothing will happen to her that will not be best for her.  And I believe this.

Father, Son and Holy Spirit, I trust in You and I desire to love and appreciate You even more.

Infant Jesus: “…in the womb, I knew you…”

At today’s Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, the Gospel reading was on the Wedding at Cana.  The pastor really “hit home” when he mentioned that, at the prompting of Mother Mary, the good Lord Jesus miraculously made somewhere between 150 and 180 gallons of really, really high-quality wine for the wedding party.  This showed the Lord’s generosity – he did not just respond to Mother Mary’s prompting; He was zealous, providing an overabundance of the best wine!  St. John goes on to demonstrate Jesus’s divine generosity throughout the Gospel.

Now, the pastor used this homily as an occasion to speak about abortion, especially since the National March for Life will be happening next Friday on the 43d anniversary of Roe v. Wade.

Infant Jesus

Infant Jesus: “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.”

During his homily, he quoted Jeremiah 1:5:

Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.

But, as the priest was saying this, I saw, in my mind, the Infant Jesus standing before me with arm and hand raised, and He was saying the same words.

Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.

The picture to the left does not do it justice.  The Infant Jesus was even younger and He had his right arm up and his hand and finger extended upward – as if He were blessing me.

Now, it is the finger of God which wrote the Ten Commandments onto the two tablets which Moses brought down from Mt. Sinai.  As such, we are reminded that what the Infant Jesus says is God’s Word – His Truth, and it is to be believed as written.  All human life is known and precious to Him, even before they are born.

Let there be no misunderstanding about the reality of the human personage and sacred dignity of all unborn human beings, and let those who have aborted their children or who helped others to do so seek the help of the Blessed Virgin Mary,  repent, seek full rest and mercy and healing in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, join in the overabundance and generosity of the Lord’s Wedding Feast, and then witness to others about the Truth.

Healing Epiphany: Light From Light

Good morning cornfield South Dakota

Bright, sun-lit road in the corn field.

I had a dream this morning that I was riding a bicycle along a level road with sun-lit cornfields on my left and my right.  The sun was shining brightly in the clouds directly ahead of me.

 

And then, from the sun came light which began to form the shape of a brilliant, Light-Man in the clouds to the right of the sun and standing on the horizon, and that Light-Man was brighter than the sun itself.

In my heart, I knew that this was God.  Like the light which comes from the sun, so the Son is begotten of the Father, Light from Light, True God from True God, consubstantial with the Father – being of the same one substance with the Father, Who is all Merciful and Loving.  This was Jesus who affirmed:

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” [John 8:12, NAB Holy Bible]

My heart began to swell with hope, and I began to feel giddy, praying to God with sentiments of love and desire.  I said, “Take me!  Take me now!”  for I had been feeling tired and ready for a life of peace and happiness with God, if that be His Will for me.

Sun Man in the Clouds

Surging, Healing Light of God

And then, knowing my weary condition, I asked Him to heal me, and at that moment, the Light-Man, like Christ Himself, surged in brightness before my face, engulfing me in His Light, and I felt His Power piercing deep into my soul, and my head was jolted as if something came out of me, and I began to feel joy, real Joy!

 

I have been in a very good mood this morning – filled with hope.  I told my wife about this, and she stated, choking back a sob, that she has no intentions of me going anywhere anytime soon!

But, this must be sort of what Saints Peter, John and James experienced at the Transfiguration.  St. Peter was obviously giddy, wanting Jesus, Moses and Elijah to stay – He didn’t want to leave either!   Here is the account from St. Peter’s account of the Gospel (as penned by St. Mark):

The Transfiguration of Jesus [Mark 9:2-8, NAB Holy Bible]
After six days Jesus took Peter, James, and John and led them up a high mountain apart by themselves.  And he was transfigured before them, and his clothes became dazzling white, such as no fuller on earth could bleach them.
Then Elijah appeared to them along with Moses, and they were conversing with Jesus.
Then Peter said to Jesus in reply, “Rabbi, it is good that we are here! Let us make three tents: one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.”
He hardly knew what to say, they were so terrified.
Then a cloud came, casting a shadow over them; then from the cloud came a voice, “This is my beloved Son. Listen to him.”

Divine Lesson in Humility?

As I walk and pray in silence, it is not unusual for me (or others who pray) to hear inaudible words (like a locution), presumably from God.  I believe that it is God Who speaks to me, and to all.  Many do not care to listen for God, or are not able due to spiritual incapacities.  I admit that, due to preoccupations, I do not “hear” God as much or as often as I would like.  I have simply been distracted.  I would like to get much closer again.

Though, recently, I have had time to meditate and pray more.  I have been working to improve my soul and have been reaching out to God to know Him in my heart even more.

This morning, I sensed His Presence in me and I heard “Choose.”  For lack of a prepared response, I hastily prayed, “I choose You as my King and Master, my Lord and Savior.”  And then I looked up in the sky and saw three very large vultures circling over my head about 50 feet up.

Vultures Flying OverheadI thought, “I’m a dead man walking.”  Then, I thought of this verse immediately:

“Wherever the corpse is, there the vultures will gather. ” [Matthew 24:28, NAB Holy Bible]

And then I thought to myself, “How proud I am that I should think that I can choose God.  In fact, it is He who has the power to choose me.” Where is my humility before God?  I must have a high opinion of myself.

I continued to walk, and I prayed to God for humility like that of Jesus Christ, that I might emulate Him totally in my life.  I did not pray this without fear.  I mean, to emulate Jesus Christ is a very tall order, and it can (and will?) come with great hardship!   Of course, I would rather be able to be most humble without hardship.  But who am I to know how best to grow in humility?

And then, shortly after my prayers for humility, I heard geese, and then looked up, and there was a flock of geese coming directly toward me and then over me.  They were very loud, too.

canada geese in flight

A flock of Canada geese in formation

That made me feel better, that God had heard my prayer and accepted my request for more humility, like that of the Lord, Jesus Christ.

The goose, as a symbol, means providence  and vigilance.  Providence means “divine guidance and care” and vigilance means “the quality or state of carefully noticing problems or signs of danger.”

So, I think that is affirmation of my recognition of my bumbling into pride and God’s immediate help in exposing where I need improvement.

But why did I hear “Choose.”?

 

 

To Learn Humility = To Change Perspectives

Learn of me. I am meek and humble of heart.

Learn of me. I am meek and humble of heart.

It is sometimes easy for me to lose composure when I allow pride to govern my reactions.  For example, there are times when I present something that I believe is valuable and represents my personal contribution, and therefore, self-worth, but the one receiving it disrespects it, and I get angry and want to come back with an arrogant response.

This has happened to me on a few occasions recently where I work.  By the Grace of God, I believe that my responses have been somewhat muted and controlled, not meting out all that my emotions demand.  I am grateful to God for this.

Interestingly, Grace also allows me to see beyond my pride, and to grasp the idea that I really can do better with what I presented…as if, after the fact, if I choose to moderate my emotions and listen, I am allowed to see as if the dark pride-encrusted lens through which I had been looking had suddenly been wiped clean.

I was praying about pride and humility this morning, and what causes my pride:

Pride is allowed to rule my actions when i measure my self-worth by my own, worldly standard.  “What I have presented is very good because I am smart, and I like it.”

In contrast…

Humility is allowed to rule our actions when we measure our self-worth by God’s holy Providence and Standard.  “I believe that I am here and have a job by the Grace of God.  What I have presented is good only if it satisfies God’s purpose for my being here.  If it does not, He will let me know through the one receiving it, and I will comply.”

So if my boss does not like something, my response should be one of humble happiness in having the opportunity to make it even better.

I desire to be a most humble servant for God, for the benefit of others with whom I come in contact.  I pray that the Lord God will help me.  So be it.  Amen.

image

Six (6) Moral Imperatives for Humanity

  When praying the Joyful Mysteries of the Holy Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary, one can find six moral imperatives for humanity.  Inasmuch as these mysteries reflect upon the entrance of God into Humanity, these mysteries can also reflect the entrance of Morality into humanity.  

1. The Annunciation / Human Dignity:  All human life must be treated with the dignity commenserate with its potential capacity for charity, creation and innovation.

2. The Visitation / Human Freedom:  All human life must be permitted the freedom to pursue peace and prosperity.

3. The Nativity / Human Fullness:  All human life must be permitted to achieve fullness of natural life, become who it is meant to be, from natural conception to natural death.  

4. The Presentation / Human Fruitfulness:  All human life must be permitted to present itself for service to humanity, to be fruitful in service to each other.

5. The Finding / Human Truthfulness:  All human life must strive to be truthful in all its works.

6. Hail, Holy Queen / Human Compliance:  All humanity must comply with the aforementioned moral imperatives by obedience to that authority appointed for the good of humanity.

  

God’s Tenderness During Holy Mass

  
At the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass today, I was preoccupied with my past sins and the weakness that I show seemingly often in my daily life, often listening to sin as if it is not such a bad thing. 

But there were consoling words today.

I heard, “Marry me” twice, the first time during the Confiteor and the next time during the Sanctus.  This calling is reminiscent of God’s calling to all of the People of God to come to the Marriage Feast of the Lamb and be joined in unity with Him.  The Prophet Jeremiah gave us God’s own imagery for how He wants us to relate to Him:

31″Behold, the days are coming, says the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah, 32 not like the covenant which I made with their fathers when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, my covenant which they broke, though I was their husband, says the Lord. 33 But this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord: I will put my law within them, and I will write it upon their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 34 And no longer shall each man teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, says the Lord; for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.” [Book of the Prophet, Jeremiah, 31:31-34, RSVCE, Holy Bible]

And here, St John reveals that the spouse of the Lamb is the Church of the Faithful:

6 Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the sound of many waters and like the sound of mighty thunderpeals, crying,

“Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns.

7 Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory,

for the marriage of the Lamb has come,

and his Bride has made herself ready;

8 it was granted her to be clothed with fine linen, bright and pure”—

for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.

9 And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are true words of God.” [Book of Revelation, 19:6-9, RSVCE Holy Bible]

I saw in my mind an image of the hand of another man, not physically present, clad in priestly attire, holding his hand out over the Chalice before the words of Consecration as if a saint had come down from heaven bringing with him the power of the Holy Spirit.

  
I heard, “Totus tuus” twice during the Agnus Dei as I imagined our Savior as a meek lamb.  “Totus tuus” was made popular by Polish Pope Saint John Paul II, and it means, “Totally yours.”  

Our priest today was a visiting priest from Poland.  I have a feeling that the doors of Heaven were wide open and Pope Saint John Paul II was there serving this priest and bringing God’s consolation to us.

    
  

Pentecost:  God Reveals His Divine Language

 

Pentecost. God opens their souls and reveals the Divine Language which unites all souls in God.

 When praying the rosary the other day, meditating on the third Glorious Mystery, I had this insight about how it could be that the people gathered all of the sudden could understand each other in their own languages.  Here is what happened – the scene – during Pentecost:

And they were all filled with the holy Spirit and began to speak in different tongues, as the Spirit enabled them to proclaim.  Now there were devout Jews from every nation under heaven staying in Jerusalem. At this sound, they gathered in a large crowd, but they were confused because each one heard them speaking in his own language. They were astounded, and in amazement they asked, “Are not all these people who are speaking Galileans? Then how does each of us hear them in his own native language? [Acts 2:4-8, NAB Holy Bible]

What just happened?  God was in their minds, enabling all of them to communicate via a universal language, deep in their minds, and only God knows how.  God is the Technician here.  AND, this is proof that there IS and will BE a universal language in Heaven and by it, we will all know each other’s thoughts as we will to communicate. 

But, why was this necessary at Pentecost, and why was this ability to understand the universal language underneath human languages so temporary?  And what were all of the people gathered there saying to each other and why?  These are mysteries.

When We Die, the Spiritual Life Takes Over

 

As if gazing through a mirror: St. Paul the Apostle

 
 I was trying yesterday to express my experience in Mass when I was praying the Angelus at noon, but my experience with Mother Mary led me in another direction.  What I remember now, the insight which came to me all of a sudden – yet simpler than I will express here – is the message that I needed to relay:  

 When we die, it is as if we fall asleep and then awaken to a new reality – the reality of our everlasting spiritual life which subsists and is hidden within our mortal life.  In our mortal lives, we “see” spiritual things as if looking at objects in a hazy mirror – indirectly, unclear and subject to interruption – just beyond our grasp.  But after we have fallen asleep, we shall awaken to a bright and refreshing change of venue where all things will be clearly manifested as they really are.

As St. Paul instructs:

At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then I shall know fully, as I am fully known. [1st Cor, 13:12, NAB Holy Bible]

So, let us trust in God and His Plan.  

Blessed is the Fruit of Your Womb, Jesus.

When praying the Rosary the other day, I was searching for Jesus in my heart in order to confirm my faith.  I began to consider His Presence at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass and the privilege we have to approach Him in the Blessed Sacrament of the Altar.  And then I prayed, “Blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus,” and it occurred to me, in that instant, the Gift of Himself in the Blessed Sacrament is the gift of a meek, humble, ever-new, ever-living God Who is the well-spring of all life and of all that will ever live.  

He is our Life, and in the Blessed Sacrament, we receive that Life which He has offered, and then we give back that Life in that sacrifice with our own lives since it is His sacrificial Life which we now have in our beings, and His Life urges us on to love Him and others.  We are strengthened in order to give what we have been given, and to live that living which is ever-new and ever-lasting, and when beyond time, ever-happy in the joy of God’s immediate Presence.

Mother Mary’s Thoughts And Presence During the Pentecost

Mary and Apostles as the Holy Spirit descends in tongues of fire

Our Blessed Mother Mary conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit, and became Theotokos, the Mother of God.  When, after the Lord Jesus Christ ascended into Heaven, and sent the Holy Spirit at Pentecost,  Mary was there with the Apostles.  

What might she have been thinking?  She must have been 48 years old at the time, when most women are approaching or are already in menopause.  I can imagine…I did imagine when praying the Glorious Mysteries…her excitement at the thought that upon the overshadowing again of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost, that she might conceive once again for God.  Remember the words of Sarah, wife of Abraham after hearing of her future motherhood:

“And she laughed secretly saying: ‘After I am grown old, and my lord is an old man, shall I give myself to pleasure?'”  [Genesis 18:12, Douay-Rheims Holy Bible]

In contrast, what was Mother Mary thinking?  Perhaps she thought as she did upon visiting Spirit-filled Elizabeth:

“And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.”  [Gospel of Luke, 1:47, Douay-Rheims Holy Bible]

Mother Mary is one with the Holy Spirit

 As the spouse of the Holy Spirit, Pentecost must have been a wonderful event for Mother Mary, an event which, perhaps, sealed her future as the spiritual mother of all of God’s children.  Afterall, she did become the future mother of 3,000 on the first day alone.

“They therefore that received his word, were baptized; and there were added in that day about 3,000 souls.”  [Acts of the Apostles, 2:41, Douay-Rheims Holy Bible]

As it was at Pentecost, is how it is today at each celebration of the Sacraments of Initiation: at Baptism to give birth to us, at Confirmation to fortify us, and at Eucharist to nurture us for eternal Life.  She is there with the Holy Spirit.  How is this possible?  How can this be?  This is a mystery, but we know that…

“…Mary said: ‘My soul doth magnify the Lord'” [Gospel of Luke, 1:46, Douay-Rheims Holy Bible]

Indeed, Mother Mary is one with the Lord, Who is the source of all life.  She and the Holy Spirit are the perfect union, for she magnifies the Lord as co-Source of our new Life in Christ.  This is not a priestly function; it is above the priestly function.  She is co-Advocate and co-Redeemer.  She magnifies our Savior.

A Conversation in Purgatory

Souls receiving relief in Purgatory.

Souls receiving relief in Purgatory.

The Lord, Jesus Christ stated in Matthew 12:32:

And whosoever shall speak a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him; but he that shall speak against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, nor in the world to come.

The above words leave open the possibility that sins are forgiven, not only in this world, but also in the world to come.  St. Gregory the Great [ b. 540 AD, d. 604 AD] comments as follows: “In this sentence it is given to understand that many sins can be remitted in this world, but also many in the world to come” [Dial. IV 39][cf,  Ott, Fundamentals of Catholic Dogma].  There are other Scriptural proofs for Purgatory, but I will not cover them here.

So, let us imagine a conversation in Purgatory, between one sinner who sinned against the other sinner, a state of existence where those with sin on their souls go to be purified.  Just what might be part of this process?

Wounder:  Now that I am so much nearer to God, I see and understand what I have done to you, and to others.  I am very sorry that I hurt you.  Can you ever forgive me?

Wounded:  May I show you my wounds?  Do you realize what I did to others because you first wounded me?  Look.  Look!  LOOK!!!

Observer:  he shows the wounds which are deep in his soul…a wound first inflicted by the other but which festered and went deeper as the wounded, in turn, repeated the sin on others without seeking healing through repentance, confession, and the balm of forgiveness.

Wounder:  Oh!  I see!  Oh my!  I am terribly sorry.  What can I do?  Will you please forgive me?  Even I am wounded by my own guilt which is ever more intense because I now see myself in the Light of God’s truth, holiness and utter purity.  Though my sin was only venial [not mortal, not breaking one of the 10 Commandments outright with intent], it is wholly incompatible with God in whose Light, we see our own standard for perfect holiness.  I am not fit to enter now.  I need your forgiveness…your love.  Help me!  I am so very sorry!  PLEASE forgive me.  Please!  I am so unfit for what I have done.  How can I ever pay you back for what I have done?!

Wounded:  I believe you, that you have repented and need my forgiveness.  In God’s Light, He gives me the ability to see the truth of your words.  You are really sorry.  I do forgive you.

Observer:  Immediately, upon receiving true forgiveness for his venial sin, the Wounder visibly showed signs of relief and healing.  His soul became brighter as God found more space to fill him with Love, and the Wounder found the strength to smile.  He could see the Light of God in the distance even better now but the brightness did not hurt his eyes so much now.  He became giddy and his anxiety began to lift.  He wanted nothing more now than to help the Wounded to heal, for the Wounded had also sinned against others…

Wounder:  Thank you!  I love you so much!  What can I do to help you to heal?

Wounded:  even now I am healing because the moment I forgave you, I felt lighter and stronger and my wounds began to close and feel better.  I immediately felt a desire to go to those that I hurt and to apologize for the harm I had done to them.  Can you help me to find them and receive their forgiveness?

Wounder:  Oh, yes!  I will.  I will help you bear the burden since, I, too am culpable for the sin which you committed because I first sinned against you.  We will find all of the wounded together, and after we have done justice, we shall finally see God and love Him and thank Him for His great Mercy and total forgiveness of us.  We are so very loved…so very loved.

Wounded:  There are 10 such souls from whom I must receive forgiveness: 5 are here with us in Purgatory, 4 are still living their lives on earth, and the other, poor soul, is…where is he?  I am having a hard time remembering him?  Wait a minute, I think there were only 9.  Why did I think there were 10?

Observer:  Now, rapidly becoming unbeknownst to both the Wounder and the Wounded, there was a 10th person, but that person refused the Mercy and help of the Holy Spirit, and totally rejecting God upon the final call, chose Hell.  Upon his entry into the state of Hell, all memory began to cease of the 10th person, except for this final link…which, having been acknowledged in true contrition,  had already begun to dissipate rapidly.  You see, when souls choose Hell by rejecting God, they reject the Creator of Justice and the gift of Justice itself.  Therefore all memory of sins  against these who consign themselves to Hell…that memory dissipates since it is no longer required for the sake of Justice.

Wounder:  No, I think there are only 9 now.  Let us run quickly to the 5 here with us and seek their forgiveness!  And, let us ask permission to do good works for those who are still alive on earth.

Wounded:  Yes!  Let us go now.  God is waiting to help us!

God Makes Himself Small for Us

God makes us small relative to the universe, and then He makes Himself small, too, for us.

He makes Himself small in His infant birth to Mary.

He makes Himself poor in order to commune with the poor.

He is greater than the universe, yet He desires to be smaller than or as small as those persons to which He gives existence.  Why?

Who He Is absolutely demands that He conform to being small since Love draws the Lover to the Beloved that the two may experience communion on a common level, but a level which is even more intimate and deeper than even the cutest smallness.  This descent into intimacy must be infinite and fulfilling at every level of intimacy, and it is a constant descent…a constant “falling in Love.”

Christ Crying in Me

"Please listen to me.  Turn to me that I may give you everlasting life in my heavenly kingdom."

“Please listen to me. Turn to me that I may give you everlasting life in my heavenly kingdom.”

The other day, I considered how God is present amongst us and in us and how so many do not acknowledge Him and do not listen to Him and do not respond to Him.  And, if we dwell on this reality, and keeping in mind the deeply-intense love which the Lord, Jesus Christ has for each and every one of us, and how He knows what will happen to those who, in their free will, do not acknowledge, listen and respond, then we can be that conduit through which He cries when He is in our hearts.

Many might say, “God has no emotion.”  But we all believe and know that the Lord is True God and True Man.  In his glorified humanity, He has emotion.  He can cry in us.  If you let Him cry in you, then you will also let Him laugh and smile in you.  This is true intimacy.

 Remember his love for the children of Jerusalem:  “As he drew near, he saw the city and wept over it, saying, ‘If this day you only knew what makes for peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes.'”

~ Gospel of Luke, 19:41-42, New American Bible

Given a Glimpse of the Face of a Child in Heaven

God grants the favor of a glimpse of her face.  She is not an angel, but a human soul who, in heaven, appears as a toddler.

God grants the favor of a glimpse of her face. She is not an angel, but a human soul who, in heaven, appears as a toddler.

In my waking thoughts in the morning, I tend to express gratitude to the Lord for all of His help.  Sometimes I don’t feel like expressing gratitude – when my body is complaining about waking up.  But there are times when my body cooperates quite well with my spirit, and gratitude flows more easily.  This morning, I was also thinking about my dear Great Aunt Bertha who died some years ago but with whom I was very close – she was my God-mother.  In the thinking of her, I was given a spontaneous glimpse of a little girl’s face in a calm and shaded place – a toddler who had a sweet baby face and her hair was all “done up” as if she had been to the hair dresser, just like my Aunt Bertha would do.  I could imagine that this was my Great Aunt Bertha, because she certainly lived the life of a saint, and she had her hair dressed as if this was a clue to me about her identity.  I believe she is there with God and that God wants me to know this.

DREAM: LESSON TO STOP TRYING TO STEER THE HOLY SPIRIT

I dreamed last night that I was flying a kite, a kite which also was hoisting me along in the air from place to place.

The kite is changing into a dove!

The kite is changing into a dove!

I was trying to steer the kite when I noticed that it was not a kite at all.  It was a beautiful white dove!

The Dove of the Holy Spirit

The Dove of the Holy Spirit

Was I steering it or was it steering me around power lines and trees?  As we went along, it got lower and lower to the ground and the wind seemed to slow.  Eventually the dove rested on the ground and immediately became a beautiful young human being with golden hair with a white robe and reclining on the ground and smiling at me. And that was my dream.

Upon reflection this morning, I thought of the Holy Spirit.  While I know that the Holy Spirit is literally scripturally masculine, I could not tell whether the Person was male or female except that I can easily associate fairness and beauty with feminine traits.  I suppose that when we see God, the glorified Jesus face to face, we might see both masculine and feminine traits since the Body of Christ consists of all of the Faithful, both male and female, and we all find our wholeness in Jesus Christ.

The dream is important and relevant to my recent tribulations in determining my vocation in life.  Am I following God’s Will or am I subverting His Will through my own efforts to control the direction I am going?  But, truly, I feel directionless now – without passion for anything in particular other than stabilizing my life so that I can spend more time with God, e.g., going to daily Mass, and so on. But I am like a person on the wind which blows where it wills, and I do not know the direction in which it goes, and am I comfortable with such a disposition? 

It is like the Lord’s teaching:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.   That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.   Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born anew.’   The wind blows where it wills, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know whence it comes or whither it goes; so it is with every one who is born of the Spirit.” [Gospel of John 3:5-8, RSVCE]

“…so it is with every one who is born of the Spirit”

That last phrase caught my attention.  I am born of the Spirit in Baptism and my direction in life needs to be aligned with that of the Spirit whose direction it is not mine to grasp by my own will.  I need less me and more Him in my soul.  If I can just hang on in trust and let the Spirit carry me instead of me trying to steer the Spirit, all will be okay, will it not?

Let us listen to a great saint Doctor of the Church on this subject:

“Therefore must the soul be stripped of all things created, and of its own actions and abilities — namely, of its understanding, perception and feelings — so, that when all that is unlike God and unconformed to him is cast out, the soul may receive the likeness of God; and nothing will then remain in it that is not the will of God and it will thus be transformed in God.  Wherefore, although it is true that, as we have said, God is ever in the soul, giving it, its natural being, yet he does not always communicate supernatural being to it.  For this is communicated only by love and grace, which not all souls possess; and all those that possess it have it not in the same degree; for some have attained more degrees of love and others fewer .  Wherefore God communicates himself most to that soul who has progressed farthest in love; namely, that has its will in closest conformity with the will of God.  And the soul that has attained complete conformity and likeness of will is totally united and transformed in God supernaturally.”  [St. John of the Cross, Ascent of Mount Carmel, book 2, chapter 5, from the Navarre Bible Commentaries on John 3:3-8]

St. John of the Cross in contemplation of God.

St. John of the Cross in contemplation of God.

And so I need to humble myself – stop trying to steer God and let God steer me instead.  This requires me to open my heart and say “yes” more to the missions He sends my way, right?  And what are the missions?  You see?  I doubt because I am not sure what are the missions. Lord, open my heart and my mind to be receptive to your love and grace whenever and wherever you will that I may do your will and be joined to You and You to me in that close bond which is meant to be like a marriage according to your own design.  Help me to hear your voice and to follow You wherever you lead me.  Amen.

Childhood Awaits Us in Heaven

Children ad the Feet of Mother Mary

Children at the Feet of Mother Mary

A Trance about Heaven

In the Fall of 2008, I had a trance while sitting at table before the Crucifix in my dining room where I found myself in another place in Springtime playing joyfully with many other children, all of us around the age of 11 or 12.  I was holding hands with a girl who had blue eyes and red hair who was pulling me toward the other children, and my heart and theirs were full of ecstatic joy, a joy which was without blemish or worry, one which was based on complete faith.  We were all smiling and laughing ecstatically  – so very happy – it did not matter why – we just were.

Happy, happy, happy!

Happy, happy, happy!

I think this was Heaven, because it was a feeling which does not seem possible here, except for slight glimpses during early childhood perhaps.  But, it was of God because the Source of this joy was infinite and we felt it to its fullest potential, such that there was no worry or concern, but only love truly in our hearts for each other, such that we desired nothing more, because nothing more could possibly be greater than what we have.

And our Mother Mary is there, and I have imagined her in my prayers before as a loving Mother watching over us, her children, as we play games at her feet, and she smiles and laughs with us, encouraging us with her Motherly kindness.  How can this not be Heaven?

Desire To be Born of Mary

Jesus, born of the sinless flesh of Mary

Jesus, born of the sinless flesh of Mary

On 24 May 2009, I prayed that I might be born again, physically, through our Blessed Mother and be her child completely with a body from her body, free of original sin and stain of personal sin.  In this way, I would be like unto Jesus – compatible with Him in truth and pleasing to the Father and lovingly attached to my Mother as her child, and humble and faithful and charitable and pure.  [Not that I wanted equality with Jesus – no, but that I would be a true child free of sin and all that displeases the Lord our God, and follow my new Parents unreservedly and with complete trust.]

Sacred Scripture shows how the Lord favors little children.  Here are several verses which came to mind:

“Jesus said, ‘Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.'” [Matthew, 19:13-14, RSVCE Holy Bible]

“‘Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter into it.’  And he took them [little children] in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands upon them.” [Mark 10:13-16, RSVCE Holy Bible]

“At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, ‘Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’  And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them, and said, ‘Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Whoever humbles himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'” [Matthew, 18:1-4, RSVCE Holy Bible]

“‘Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.'” [Matthew 18:5-6, RSVCE Holy Bible]

Sacred Scripture also shows how the Lord invites us to be members of his family:

“Jesus answered, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.'” [John 3:5, RSVCE Holy Bible]

“When Jesus saw his mother, and the disciple whom he loved standing near, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, behold your son!’  Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold your mother!’  And from that hour, the disciple took her to his own home.  [John 19:26-27, RSVCE Holy Bible]

“But he said to them, ‘My mother and my brethren are those who hear the word of God and do it.'” [Luke 8:21 with ref. to Psalm 87:5-7,  RSVCE Holy Bible]

“Jesus said to her [Mary Magdalene], ‘Do not hold me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to my brethren and say to them, I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'” [John 20:17, RSVCE Holy Bible]

Loving Bond: A Vine of Roses

Sweet blossoming of our Blessed Mother Mary

Sweet blossoming of our Blessed Mother Mary

As I walked and meditated on the Glorious Mysteries of the Rosary yesterday, my heart was grateful for the wonderful gifts which God has given to me, especially in the gift of our Blessed Mother Mary.

I envisioned giving her a bouquet of roses in gratitude. She smiled joyfully. When I gave her the bouquet, the roses became like a Vine and wrapped around her hands and mine, and around our wrists.

I was embarrassed because this was too much for me. I had no choice but to stand there and gaze into Mother Mary’s eyes and be loved in her gaze; the Vine of Roses, Jesus our Lord bound us together.

Catholic Nuns: Bearing Fruit That Will Last – Joy!

Sister Tracy, Daughter of St. Paul, 13 April 2013.  She went out weeping; she came back with shouts of joy, bringing her fruit with her. [cf, Psalm 126:6]

Sister Tracey, Daughter of St. Paul, 13 April 2013. She went out weeping; she came back with shouts of joy, bringing her fruit with her. [cf, Psalm 126:6]
What a lovely smile. 🙂

This is a tribute to my wonderful Catholic Christian religious Sisters in the world who give their entire life to Christ and who “bear fruit that will last.”  Shout out to Sister Tracy and the Daughters of St. Paul!

Jesus Christ said:  “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide; so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.   This I command you, to love one another.”  [Gospel of John, 15:16-17, RSV Holy Bible]

The following is from the Book of the Prophet Isaiah chapter 54, RSV Holy Bible:

“Sing, O barren one, who did not bear;  break forth into singing and cry aloud,  you who have not been in travail!

For the children of the desolate one will be more  than the children of her that is married, says the LORD.

Enlarge the place of your tent,  and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out;  hold not back, lengthen your cords  and strengthen your stakes.

For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left,  and your descendants will possess the nations  and will people the desolate cities.

“Fear not, for you will not be ashamed;  be not confounded, for you will not be put to shame;  for you will forget the shame of your youth,  and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more.

For your Maker is your husband,  the LORD of hosts is his name;  and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,  the God of the whole earth he is called.

For the LORD has called you  like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, like a wife of youth when she is cast off,  says your God.

For a brief moment I forsook you,  but with great compassion I will gather you.

In overflowing wrath for a moment  I hid my face from you,  but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,  says the LORD, your Redeemer.”

God Works Through the Most High Motherhood of Mary

Jesus Christ elevates His Mother Mary to a most high place in His Life and ours.  For from her flesh and from her motherhood, He came into this world to heal us and to give us the Light of Love.  Also, in a way similar to how He gives us Himself from the Father, He gives us Himself through His Mother, Mary.  And so, in Mary we recognize the pure goodness of Jesus Christ ever so clearly.

"I AM all Love for you Mama."Mother Mary with Child Jesus

“I AM all Love for you Mama.”
Mother Mary with Child Jesus

In drawing close to Mary, we draw close to Jesus the Christ.  In becoming as a child of Mary, we recognize that we have already become adopted brothers and sisters of Jesus Christ in His glorified humanity where Love rules every aspect of our lives.  We find rest in her pure, joyful and grace-filled compassion and mercy.  In her smile, we see the Love and Mercy of God shining through, for she is very near to Him.  He calls us through His Mother to Himself. She says, “I take you as my baby child, for the love of God works through me, and I am all “Yes” to Him who is all Love for you and for me. I love you so very much.”But, the unfathomable Love and Beauty of God is far beyond even that which we are able to see in our Mother Mary.  Oh Loving Lord – you are the ultimate Essence of Beauty.  For you, may our hearts also resonate like Mary’s “Yes!” and be filled with JOY.

A Dream of an Asian Majestic Highness and the Church

Last Saturday night, I had 3 dreams – the last one being the most special dream.Mary and Tower

THE FIRST DREAM – NEWLYWEDS

In the first dream, I was with my wife, and we were being a naturally-loving married couple.

THE SECOND DREAM – CALL TO ARMS

In my second dream, I was a soldier again, and I felt an intense anxiety as I was called to prepare to deploy for an unanticipated war. I actually felt a tearing anxiety in my body – a feeling of intense worry, mostly about being sure to take the right things with me. When I awoke, I calmed down and then I prayed and asked the Lord why I needed to feel such pain in my dream. And then I thought, “Perhaps I am taking on someone else’s burden – for their sake – for love of them.” I accepted this, and then I knew that the dream was good.  I felt I had somehow done a good deed.

THE THIRD DREAM – ASIAN MAJESTY, THE CHURCH

In the third dream, I was relaxed and with a few other men sitting at table in an enclosed room.  There were no walls but everything beyond the table was blackness – nothing. But, there was a square opening in the darkness through which light poured in from a bright blue, clean sky – the vision through the window was more real then the dream in which I was dreaming.  I glanced out through the window and saw a very tall white building – a huge and lofty tower, and behind the building was a white cloud.  I looked down and then up and out again and the cloud had become a beautifully-chiselled, smiling Face, like that of a beautiful Asian woman (because of the eyes and beautiful Face and Asian-styled attire).  But I am not sure if it was a woman or not.  The Face was beautiful – like perfect white marble – and finely detailed.  I called my companions at table to also look.  And they agreed with what I was seeing.  Then, a mist formed before my eyes along the length of that huge, tall white building, and an Enrobed Body began to form – from the Head all the way down to the base where I could see the Feet which were adorned in special shoes.  The Enrobed Majesty stood, a giant beautiful Column, like a Royal Highness in front of the towering Building. This Majestic Highness seemed to be coming from the Building or mysteriously  joined with the building but forming from a gently-appearing mist.

My first thought was that I was seeing this vision in a land like China because of the Face and clothing.  I do not yet know what to make of the dream except that perhaps I was seeing a spiritual vision of the Catholic Church in China or Mongolia.

The Majestic Highness could be like the pure spirit or pure soul of that Building, the Church, and the Church could be the People who are the spiritual building blocks of that great white Building.

The Majestic Highness could be like a Princess or a Daughter.

The Majestic Highness could also be like a companion to that Building.

But I did not know for sure.

But one thing I do know for sure:  the Majestic Highness is greater than the Building.

During Morning Prayer, Psalm 93 began with these words:

“The Lord is king, with majesty enrobed;
the Lord has robed himself with might,
he has girded himself with power.

The world you made firm, not to be moved;
your throne has stood firm from of old.
From all eternity, O Lord, you are.

The waters have lifted up, O Lord,
the waters have lifted up their voice,
the waters have lifted up their thunder.

Greater than the roar of mighty waters,
more glorious than the surgings of the sea,
the Lord is glorious on high.

Truly your decrees are to be trusted.
Holiness is fitting to your house,
O Lord, until the end of time.

This beautiful psalm reminded me of my dream, and confirmed to me that I may have had a dream from God about Himself and His relationship with the Church.  What do you think?