Category Archives: Cleansing Love

Holy Spirit – Special Intimacy

This morning at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, three things happened which were extraordinary [and I don’t mean the form of the Mass 🙂 ].

Firstly, I could see Jesus processing in and blessing us with His wounded hands behind the Altar. Secondly, I could see Who I believe to be the image of the Holy Spirit during the Creed. Thirdly, after the dismissal and during our Hail Mary prayer for vocations, I could see the Blessed Virgin Mary. I will cover the second two here.

Holy Spirit, Lord and Giver of Life: We state our belief in the Holy Spirit this way when we recite the Creed each Sunday:

“I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life, who proceeds from the Father and the Son, who with the Father and the Son is adored and glorified, who has spoken through the prophets.”

When I was reciting this part, I remembered many locutions in the past to “romance me.” This essentially means to “love me” in a special way which is appropriate to Divinity. I attribute this call to the Holy Spirit. And I envisioned our Personal God to be youthful, fresh, full of life, full of virtue, attractive and desirous of intimacy to the point that I felt like I was being refreshed in that moment, nearly to the point of sort of floating away – feeling very light and happy. But, I had full control and did not drift away. Thank you dear Lord for this blessing of grace.

Holy Mother of God, Mary Most Holy: After Sunday Mass, we always make two prayers – one to St. Michael the Archangel (to protect us from Satan – I often see from the vantage point of thrusting demons through a hatch into Hell using a very long battle lance – very effective, and they cannot come back in) and also to the Blessed Virgin Mary, Most Holy Mother of God for more vocations. I saw her, too. And, praying to her, she said “touch me,” (something I am averse to doing), but when I did, my heart leapt or skipped a beat, and I felt that something like the weight of sin had been taken from me. I think that because when I do begin to have sinful thoughts, my heart hurts like pressure is being forced on it. But, when I reached out to touch Mother Mary, my heart felt relieved or healed. I had been recollecting prior sinful thoughts and asking God for forgiveness, to which he replied as in a locution, “I have forgiven you.” But, Mother Mary gave me some sort of grace today which I do not recall receiving before.

This all gave me great hope in the Kingdom of God, Who is Love, Who Mercifully Heals.

How is this Possible? Now, one might ask, “How is it that one person in 2.5 billion Christians sees these Persons and Saint? Does that mean he is the only one? Or, how can these Persons and this Saint be present to one and many simultaneously?” Well, we can answer that question by the example of the Prophets. All Christians are called to be like prophets, but do we acknowledge, listen and respond to the Lord? No! Most do not! Most do not love the Lord our God as He asks. We stray, we get distracted, we don’t pray (we don’t speak to God), we put other gods before our Loving God. Who would make friends with you if you don’t think one important enough to talk to or listen to? I also fail in these ways, but I have taken the grace to repent when I do, and I return to be healed and love again and am always forgiven. Also, why do we try to limit the capability of God as if He were only a limited creation? When we do, we show our ignorance and lack of attention to knowing God.

Remember today’s Gospel message. We are all called to be like fertile soil in light of the “seed” which the Lord plants in us, that it might take root and bear much fruit. How do we become that fertile soil? Think about that. Are you the soil on the path, the rocky ground, or amongst thorns? Or are you the rich, fertile soil like that in a flood plain? What floods and is absorbed into your soil? Is it the pollution of sloth, violence, pornography, hatred, calumnious intention, financial wealth, career advancement, or personal power? Or is it the clean life-giving, cool Water of the Lord?

Cleansed by Spirit and Fire – Make Me Holy, Lord!

Early this morning, I was contemplating the chaste holiness of God.  It was a delightful experience – similar to what it might be like swimming in crystal clear springs of Total Goodness and Truth.  But, then my thoughts began to corrupt the experience, and it left me.  I was made acutely aware of my state of being compared to the most holy God.  I was acutely aware of the Lord’s expectation, and my and your duty:

I-am-the-Lord-your-God-I

My prayer from this morning was this:

Lord, cleanse my heart with the breath of Your Spirit and with Your Thoughts, that I may become one with You, purified through You, in You and with You. Without You, I am broken and coarse. But, You can make me whole and refined if You will it. This is what I desire, because I love You. Amen

Then, today, at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, the readings and homily were exactly in line with my early morning contemplations.  This is what happens when the Spirit is moving us.  We are being prepared even before we see and hear; we may even think about what the Pope will speak about even before he speaks at an audience, for example.

At Mass, we were at the point where the Priest begins the Eucharistic Prayer, and I began to imagine the Lord working in me.  The Eucharistic Prayer begins like this:

Priest: “Lift up your hearts.”

People: “We lift them up to the Lord.”

Priest: “Let us give thanks to the Lord our God.”

People: “It is right and just.”

I prayerfully lifted up my heart, my very soul, in sorrow for my past errors and present unholiness and brokenness compared to God.  For He commanded this to be said to the congregation of the people Israel,

“You shall be holy, for I the Lord your God am holy.” [Leviticus 19:2]

The holiness of the Lord is so great, that is, He is so chaste and true and unerring in thought that even the Seraphs, hiding their faces, exclaim:

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts…”! [Isaiah 6:3a]

He is not one degree of holiness, but He is root of holiness.  We are called to be holy as He is holy, but the gap between our meager attempts at holiness and His actual holiness is huge.  We cannot scale the gap without His divine help, and we must certainly try.

But then I saw in my mind,

Jesus breathing His Spirit on my heart, and sparks flying from it like impurities being burned in a fire.  

After receiving Jesus in Holy Communion, I heard,

You have received mercy today.

As our homilist suggested today, it was like being baptized again, for as the words of John the Baptist are written about the Lord in Sacred Scripture,

“He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.” [Luke 3:16b]

I felt the Lord was helping me today – saying that He can, does and will help me, but He is the one who must do it in me.  And, I must protect what He gives me.

One of the things I struggle with, today, is defining my life of service.  I am married, and I do serve my wife as best I can, and improving on that as I go, there is a fuller service to which God calls me.  I hear,

Serve!

Serve God, but where and when and how?  And I hear at times of true prayer,

Marry me.

Marry God, but where and when and how?  I understand, but not fully since this marriage must be supernatural and in the spiritual realm.  There is a future meaning to it now: only a betrothal – a request.  I want to doubt it because my understanding is human, but then I believe it because I know that I do not understand the divine; how can I understand by myself?

But, this marriage cannot happen if I am not holy as the Lord my God is holy.  I invite Him to make me holy.

I adjure you, Lord. 

Make me holy.  

Make me holy.  

Make me holy.  

I desire this.

Have mercy; make me holy! 

Amen.