It is sometimes easy for me to lose composure when I allow pride to govern my reactions. For example, there are times when I present something that I believe is valuable and represents my personal contribution, and therefore, self-worth, but the one receiving it disrespects it, and I get angry and want to come back with an arrogant response.
This has happened to me on a few occasions recently where I work. By the Grace of God, I believe that my responses have been somewhat muted and controlled, not meting out all that my emotions demand. I am grateful to God for this.
Interestingly, Grace also allows me to see beyond my pride, and to grasp the idea that I really can do better with what I presented…as if, after the fact, if I choose to moderate my emotions and listen, I am allowed to see as if the dark pride-encrusted lens through which I had been looking had suddenly been wiped clean.
I was praying about pride and humility this morning, and what causes my pride:
Pride is allowed to rule my actions when i measure my self-worth by my own, worldly standard. “What I have presented is very good because I am smart, and I like it.”
Humility is allowed to rule our actions when we measure our self-worth by God’s holy Providence and Standard. “I believe that I am here and have a job by the Grace of God. What I have presented is good only if it satisfies God’s purpose for my being here. If it does not, He will let me know through the one receiving it, and I will comply.”
So if my boss does not like something, my response should be one of humble happiness in having the opportunity to make it even better.
I desire to be a most humble servant for God, for the benefit of others with whom I come in contact. I pray that the Lord God will help me. So be it. Amen.