A Trance about Heaven
In the Fall of 2008, I had a trance while sitting at table before the Crucifix in my dining room where I found myself in another place in Springtime playing joyfully with many other children, all of us around the age of 11 or 12. I was holding hands with a girl who had blue eyes and red hair who was pulling me toward the other children, and my heart and theirs were full of ecstatic joy, a joy which was without blemish or worry, one which was based on complete faith. We were all smiling and laughing ecstatically – so very happy – it did not matter why – we just were.
I think this was Heaven, because it was a feeling which does not seem possible here, except for slight glimpses during early childhood perhaps. But, it was of God because the Source of this joy was infinite and we felt it to its fullest potential, such that there was no worry or concern, but only love truly in our hearts for each other, such that we desired nothing more, because nothing more could possibly be greater than what we have.
And our Mother Mary is there, and I have imagined her in my prayers before as a loving Mother watching over us, her children, as we play games at her feet, and she smiles and laughs with us, encouraging us with her Motherly kindness. How can this not be Heaven?
Desire To be Born of Mary
On 24 May 2009, I prayed that I might be born again, physically, through our Blessed Mother and be her child completely with a body from her body, free of original sin and stain of personal sin. In this way, I would be like unto Jesus – compatible with Him in truth and pleasing to the Father and lovingly attached to my Mother as her child, and humble and faithful and charitable and pure. [Not that I wanted equality with Jesus – no, but that I would be a true child free of sin and all that displeases the Lord our God, and follow my new Parents unreservedly and with complete trust.]
Sacred Scripture shows how the Lord favors little children. Here are several verses which came to mind:
“Jesus said, ‘Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.'” [Matthew, 19:13-14, RSVCE Holy Bible]
“‘Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter into it.’ And he took them [little children] in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands upon them.” [Mark 10:13-16, RSVCE Holy Bible]
“At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, ‘Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’ And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them, and said, ‘Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'” [Matthew, 18:1-4, RSVCE Holy Bible]
“‘Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.'” [Matthew 18:5-6, RSVCE Holy Bible]
Sacred Scripture also shows how the Lord invites us to be members of his family:
“Jesus answered, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.'” [John 3:5, RSVCE Holy Bible]
“When Jesus saw his mother, and the disciple whom he loved standing near, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, behold your son!’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold your mother!’ And from that hour, the disciple took her to his own home. [John 19:26-27, RSVCE Holy Bible]
“But he said to them, ‘My mother and my brethren are those who hear the word of God and do it.'” [Luke 8:21 with ref. to Psalm 87:5-7, RSVCE Holy Bible]
“Jesus said to her [Mary Magdalene], ‘Do not hold me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to my brethren and say to them, I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'” [John 20:17, RSVCE Holy Bible]