I Envision Jesus at Pandemic Holy Mass

I’ve been wanting to share with you that I have been consoled these past Pandemic Sundays while watching the televised Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

I envision the Lord Jesus standing between me and the TV inviting me to a communion of friendship.  He has shoulder-length wavy and coarse golden brown hair, blue or translucent eyes, a golden brown beard,  fair tan complexion, and he is wearing a liturgical robe, off-white with red straps running from each shoulder to a point near the bottom center of His chest, like a downward pointing triangle.  He also seems relatively small in stature – a mature but young man.  Today, there was an embrace and I was comforted by His soft, warm beard on my face and the secure hug like that of a father for a son or a brother for a brother.

Early in the morning, too, I pray sometimes, “Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy.”  I do this knowing my dependency on Him for everything  – for our health, our safety and security.  I usually have a couple of drinks before going to bed – and sometimes three – and I worry for my health because of that; I get dehydrated.  And I pray to Him to give me more temperance that I may not somehow accidentally poison myself.  I think I am a hypochondriac of sorts – very sensitive to any unusual feeling in my body, and this happens more as I age.  And, so I pray to the Lord to help me with that.

Sometimes in prayer I hear, “Marry me” and that is a call which I do not yet fully understand.  I think that I have blogged about it before.  I figure that there is a love which the Father has for the Son, and a love which the Son has for each of us which is much stronger and longer lasting than Earthly, marital love.  He has a father’s love in that He is like a shepherd who lays down His life for the sheep.  He has a mother’s love in that He desires to pull us all under His wings like a hen does for its brood.  But, this inaudible whisper, “Marry me” is a call to an even deeper level of intimacy – a call to exclusivity and purpose.  I say, “Yes Lord, I will marry you, but how can this be?”  There is no answer.  I remember St. John, who calls himself the disciple whom Jesus loved, and I remember St. Peter who told Jesus three times that he loved Him, after Jesus directly prompted him three times. Of course, Jesus prompted St. Peter in order to heal him of his guilty conscience after rejecting Jesus three times.  He will let me know when I need to know.

And so, He comes to console, heal, give hope, inspire wonder.  Thank You, Lord.


5 responses to “I Envision Jesus at Pandemic Holy Mass

  1. Hey Francis,

    Do you think the “marry me,” could mean Jesus could be calling you to become one with Him. As that is what marriage is, where two become one. Just a thought. God Bless, SR

  2. Francis,

    I am reading the Revelations of St. Bridget of Sweden and came across this and it made me think about this post and “Marry Me.” It is a little long and I am sorry but wanted to share it with you and see if you get anything.

    Christ speaks to the bride and tells her that she should love him as a good servant loves his master, as a good son loves his father, and as a faithful wife loves her husband from whom she ought never to be separated . He gives a spiritual and profitable explanation of all of this.

    The Son speaks, ” I love you as a good master loves his servant, as a father his son, as a husband his wife. The master says to his servant, “I shall give you clothing, proper food, and a moderate amount of work. The father says to his son, “All I have is yours. The husband says to the wife, “Your rest is my rest, your comfort my comfort.”

    How will these three respond to such love? The servant, if he is good, will certainly say to his master, “My condition is that of a servant, so I would rather serve you than anyone else.” The son will say to his father, “I get every good thing from you, so I do not want to be separated from you.” The wife will say to her husband, “I am supported by your work, I have the warmth of your breast and the sweetness of your words, so I would rather die than be separated from you.”

    I, God, am the husband, The soul is indeed my bride, and she would be comforted in my rest and refreshed with the food of my divinity. For her part, she ought to bear every torment, rather than be separated from me, for she can receive neither comfort nor honor apart from me. Two things pertain to matrimony: first, the means a married couple needs for their support; second, a son to receive their inheritance – they may also have a servant to attend them – for it is written that Abraham was troubled about not having a son.

    The soul has her means of support when she is full of virtue. She also has a son when she possesses wise discretion in order to be able to discern between virtues and vices, and when her discernment is according to God. She also has a servant, that is, her physical emotions. This servant does not live according to the concupiscence of the flesh but for the benefit of the body and the perfection of the soul.

    I love you, thus, as a husband loves a wife, for your rest is my rest. It belongs to you, therefore, to bear freely any hardship rather than provoke me to anger. I love you, too, as a father love his son, for I have given you discretion and free will. I love you, moreover, as a master loves his servant, and I have commanded you to maintain a moderate amount of necessary goods and a reasonable workload. But that servant, the body, is so foolish that he would rather serve the devil than me, and the devil never gives him rest from the cares of the world.

    I do not know if this helps or not, or even speaks to you in any form or fashion. But for some reason when I was reading this, you came to my mind and was led to share it with you.

    I absolutely love the writings of St. Bridget of Sweden. Sorry for length. God Bless, SR

    • Francis Philip

      SR, I love that. Thank you for your good counsel. 🙂. I will have to read St. Bridget now! Another is St. Columba about whom I dreamed the other day. I have to write about that.

  3. Cannot wait for writing, I have never heard of him. I hope it helped hesitated doing it, but the urge to do so was just too strong. Cannot wait for post. God Bless, SR

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